Missing
by Kyrgruna
Summary: One of the lost tales of Loki and Thor that should have stayed lost.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This was originally going to be written for _The Troublesome Tales of Loki and Thor_, but as I continued to write, the story kept getting longer and longer. The whole idea for_ The Troublesome Tales of Loki and Thor_ is it being a collection of cute and funny short stories, but when I kept working with this, I kept adding more ideas as I went and had to divide it up into chapters (because there was no way in hell that anyone would tolerate the length of this whole story in one chapter). On top of that, I would have had to up the rating on _The Troublesome Tales of Loki and Thor_ (Which would have put me a seriously bad mood. I really don't like changing the rating a story for (what was going to be) one chapter). So I essentially said 'Screw it' and decided to make it into a separate story. -_-" 'Kay, aside from that little ramble, this story was requested by _general zargon_ through a review some time back. So, here y' go and enjoy. :D

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><p>Loki was pacing briskly through the wide halls of Asgard. His dark eyes intensely examined the floor as he fumbled through complex thoughts. Things had been rather dry in the castle and that needed to change. Desperately. Loki was harshly yanked back into reality by the obnoxious clattering that rose from his brother's chamber. He stood for a moment, staring at the massive closed doors. Curiosity was feasting on his conscious deep within his chest. The doors vibrated loudly with a thunderous boom as something had been thrown against them. Loki bit down on his lower lip and knocked on the steel barrier. "Brother," the young man called, "Does all go well? You are being oddly…noisy."<p>

"I am fine!" Thor shouted from the other side of the thick doors.

Loki placed his hands on one of the doors and pushed it open, sliding his head into his brother's room. The curtains were pulled aside, illuminating the large chamber. Objects of every shape and size were scattered across every corner. After scanning the room, Loki stared Thor dead in the eyes. "You do realize the lack of trust I have in that statement?"

Thor grabbed Loki by the shoulders and pushed him back into the hall. "Leave me be!"

Loki's lips curled upward. Leave alone the most interesting thing that's happened in the past several days? That was _not_ happening. "Brother!" Loki smiled. "I am hurt! Of all the people in Asgard, you should be able to feel comfortable confiding in me. That is why we are family, after all! You should be able to freely tell me what is troubling you! I shan't tell a soul!"

The chamber door creaked open slowly and Thor popped his head out into the hall. Had anyone not known any better, they would have thought that a mighty wind storm had passed through. "Will you put your life with that promise?"

Loki raised his hands into the air defensively, "I swear upon my life that I shan't tell a soul, living or dead, of whatever ails my brother."

Thor looked to his left, then to his right. He invited his brother inside the terrifying abyss with the simple waive of his hand. Loki bit down on his lip to hide the creeping smile of satisfaction threatening to reveal itself as he entered the chamber. Thor was quick to shut the door and flew to his bed, throwing one of the many pillows over his face. "I am a failure!"

Loki's eyebrows shot into the air. It took him this long to figure that out? "What possesses you to say such a thing?"

"It was there when I went to bed and now it is gone!" Thor shouted quickly as he sat up right. "I have torn this room apart and I cannot find it! I know it was by my bed when I slept and I haven't the slightest where it could be!"

"Calm yourself, Brother." Loki said softly. "Speak slowly and clarify what you are talking about."

"Miölnir is gone!" Thor screamed into his pillow.

Loki's eyes widened and his pride faded into confusion. "What?"

"My hammer is gone!"

"How could that have happened?"

"Brother, if I knew, I most certainly would not be here searching for it!"

Loki sat in a nearby chair. He heard the wood crack as he leaned back into it. His left hand habitually rested near his mouth, his fingers rubbing against each other as he thought. The two brothers sat in silence for nearly fifteen minutes when Loki finally spoke, "Do you think that a Frost-Giant could have taken it?"

"Things were bad enough, Brother! Don't make it worse…"

"We can't rule out any possibility!" Loki growled. "Besides, remember the Frost-Giant that tried to win Freya's heart? Don't you think it would be possible for him to steal something of value that he could use as leverage for a marriage?"

"But… Miölnir?" Thor asked desperately. "How does that relate to Freya?"

"I didn't say that he was bright." Loki snorted. "If I remember accurately, he was quite stupid."

"I will rip that monster limb from limb!" The blonde screamed furiously.

Loki pressed his hands down against the air, "Sh! We don't want anyone else to hear us, do we? Perhaps, by a stroke of luck, we could convince Freya to come with us to Jötunheim so she could distract the Frost-Giant as we retrieve your hammer."

Thor leapt out of his bed and tightly embraced his darker haired brother. "I knew I could rely on you to come up with a plan! No man in all of Asgard can outwit you!"

Loki would have been grinning just as Thor was if it had not been the shadow of doubt that loomed over his head. He was not given much of a chance think too much on the subject as he was being pulled with amazing speed by the happy god. It wasn't long before 'they' found Freya. She was walking through the halls, filling the vast, still space with a beautiful melody.

"Freya!" Thor called merrily.

Loki dug his heels into the ground, using all his might to halt his brother. "Thor!" Loki hissed. Thor noticed the informality and stopped abruptly. Loki leaned close to Thor and whispered, "Why don't you leave me to talk? I fear your excitement will get the better of you."

"Of course," Thor nodded eagerly.

Loki stepped forward, "Lady Freya."

Freya turned to face the young prince and bowed briefly, "Your Highness, what reason would bring your majesty to my presence?"

"We ask for your help if you are willing to offer it." Loki said.

"Of course I would be willing to help," Freya smiled sweetly. "Only, what is it that I am helping you with?"

"We have reason to believe that Thrym has stolen something from us in order to obtain your hand in marriage." Loki said, honestly surprised that he remembered the giant's name, "All we ask is that you accompany us to Jötunheim just long enough to retrieve the stolen item."

Freya took in several of deep breaths and a dim pink blossomed on her cheeks. Her hand trailed up to her necklace. It was her most distinguished item; an elegant jewel that shone brilliantly, all of which dangled on slender golden chain. "If that absent minded dimwit truly believes that stealing something from you two will win my heart, then he is honestly incompetent. I will not accompany you on your journey. I am happily married and I will not leave my generous husband!"

"Please calm yourself, Lady Freya. We are not asking-"

"If I do as you say, that horrible monster will force me to stay with him and I will die from heartbreak! I will desperately miss my husband and yearn helplessly for the warmth of Asgard! Jötunheim is a barren wasteland and I will live the rest of my days in misery!" Tears streamed down the young woman's face, reddening her hazel eyes. Without saying a word more, she flipped around and darted away. She did not even notice that her necklace slipped off and clattered on to the ground. Thor's eyebrows were arched upwards as he tried to bite back a wide grin.

Loki shot his brother a glare. "That wouldn't have gone any better had you been the one talking."

Thor said as he picked up the pendant. "What do you suggest now, oh Royal Genius?"

Loki pursed his lips together. His eyes moved from left to right as he thought. It was roughly five minutes before he spoke again. "I have an idea, but let us ask Heimdall to see if he has…better advice."

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><p>Alright, I'm stopping here for now. I know I previously said that this story was longer than expected and just posted a rather short chapter, but I'm stopping here for a reason. New chapters should be coming shortly and the story should be getting progressively funnier ( This portion of the story isn't exactly my favorite, but, hey, the story's gotta start somewhere XD).<p>

Thank you for reading,

Krudovana


	2. Chapter 2

We will now start to see where I'm having _way_ too much fun with this. XD

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><p>The two boys gazed across the bifröst, both shifting with different desires. Thor wanted to race across the bridge and do whatever necessary to retrieve Miölnir. Loki wanted to turn away and forget that he had even come up with an idea at all. However, Thor's anticipation had gotten the better of him and did just as he wanted. Loki closed his eyes for a moment, desperately wishing that he was seeing things and that the moment he opened his eyes, his brother would still be beside him. To his dismay, however, Thor had only gotten smaller in the distance. Loki sighed and chased after his older brother.<p>

"Wait!" Loki called, chasing after Thor.

Thor stopped dead in his tracks, looking at his brother with confusion. "What is it, Brother?"

Loki ran his hand across the back of his neck roughly. "Why don't we hold off on-"

"I cannot wait to find my hammer!" Thor shouted quickly. "What has gotten into you?"

Loki heaved a great sigh as he watched his brother storm off. The rest of the trip was painfully silent. Of all the times Thor has ever opened his mouth, of all the times Loki wished he'd shut up, this was not one of them. Loki wished desperately that Thor would say something obnoxious just so he wouldn't think. Oh, how he didn't want to think. They found Heimdall at his usual post. Had no one known better, they would have thought him to be a statue.

"You have come for advice?" The thunderous voice echoed.

"Yes," Loki nodded, "I am certain you are aware of our current…predicament."

"I am." Heimdall said, "And I have no advice for you."

"No!" Thor cried, "There has to be something! Of all the people in Asgard, you and my brother should have at least one idea! I will not believe that neither of you haven't a single idea!"

"I shall correct myself." Heimdall sighed, "I have no advice for you that is in your personal favor."

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><p>The blonde prince strode quickly across the bridge, his face a light shade of pink. Loki was walking just as quickly right beside him. "I thought that you didn't want anyone else to know!"<p>

"I'd rather tell Father than to-to-" Thor's face almost turned red. "What made either you even think such a thing?"

"If you would just listen!"

Thor stopped and glared at Loki. "I am listening."

Loki sighed. "As I said, he's not the most intelligent being to walk the edges of…anywhere, really. However, as Freya said, she's not going to distract him while we retrieve your hammer and she's the only one he will listen to. We can use this stupidity against him. All you have to do is guise yourself as Freya so you can-"

"Why me?"

"Because it's your hammer."

"What about Sif?" Thor asked, "Why can't she take Freya's place?"

Loki took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Because, Brother, she refuses to do anything other than training. She's told us that she wants to finish it before she does anything else."

"We could make her help us."

Loki shook his head, "That particular process would require a trip to the infermery."

"I won't hurt her," Thor laughed.

Loki took in a deep breath. "No, Brother. She would be the one hurting us."

"We aren't children anymore, Brother. She wouldn't be able to-"

"She's more than capable of hurting both of us, she simply chooses not to and, personally, I'd much rather keep it that way."

"What about all of the other women in Asgard?" Thor asked. "Certainly there would be one that would be willing to pass as Freya."

"And as Heimdall said; We should not involve more people than necessary. It would cause far too much chaos."

Thor looked around wearily and eventually his face scrunched together as though he had tasted something horribly bitter. "Fine." He spat, "If you insist, then I am not going to Jötunheim alone."

"Of course not." Loki said. "I will accompany you."

Thor's head tilted with a horribly misguided train of thought. "Won't Thrym find it odd that the prince of Asgard-"

Loki shook his head, "I will not be going to Jötunheim with you as the prince of Asgard. I will go as a hand-"

"Maiden."

Loki's eyes widened. "What?"

"If I must go to Jötunheim as Freya then you will accompany me as my handmaiden."

Loki's mouth opened and closed much like a fish. Sounds rose from his throat, but nothing more.

"It is only fair." Thor laughed, "This way I know for certain you will never utter a word of this to _anyone_."

"Of course," Loki smiled bitterly.

The two princes quickly found their way to Freya's home, making the trip as quickly and discretely as possible. Thor went to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge a single inch. His eyes widened as he tried to open the door once more. "It's locked! Why is it locked?"

"Oh, I haven't the slightest." Loki shrugged. "Probably because it's her _home_."

"Well," Thor grinned, "We must find a different plan!"

Thor turned to leave, but Loki stopped him by grabbing by the shoulder. "There is no 'different plan'. This is the only decent plan that even has a possibility of working." He said as he pulled a thin needle from his coat.

"Explain to me how-" Thor looked around hastily and lowered his voice. "How dressing like _women_ is 'decent'?"

Loki knelt down and began to pick the lock. It was nearly five seconds before the door cracked open. "Finished."

Thor looked at the door, raising an eyebrow. "That hardly took any time at all."

Loki placed the needle back where it belonged and entered the house. "Why would it not?"

Thor closed the door as he entered the room. "Is this how you have gotten into my room for the past several years?"

Loki's lips split into a wide grin as if saying, 'Oh, not just your room, Dear Brother.' "We should try to find Freya's chamber."

The search did not last long. Freya's chamber was the most extravagant of all the others, decorated entirely of exotic fabrics and furniture. Loki opened the large wardrobe and searched through the vast variety of dresses. "I cannot believe we are doing this!" Thor whined. Loki pulled out a creamy dress decked with jewels.

"This should do." Loki said as he handed Thor the dress. Thor took the dress with a trembling hand, his face a deep red. Loki looked through the closet once more and found the veil from Freya's wedding. It was of extraordinary length and the fabric made it extremely difficult to see through. "Take this, too."

The blonde took the veil and gave his brother an odd look. "What's this for?"

"To hide your face when we arrive in Jötunheim."

Thor just stared at Loki, his eyes narrowed.

"Accept it, Brother," Loki sighed, placing a hand on Thor's shoulder, "You do not look like Freya."

Thor looked at the thick veil, then looked back at Loki. "I will be the one to choose your dress."

Loki's dark eyes flashed with horror. He darted after his brother, who had already found the wash room and shut the door. Loki pounded on the thick metal. "Brother!" Loki shouted, "Brother! Open this door at once!"

Thor opened the door, grinning.

Loki looked all around his brother, looking for the promised dress. "Where is it?"

"Why, Brother, I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about."

"I do not believe you." Loki scowled. "Where is it?"

Thor only grinned as he made his way to the front door. Loki started after his brother, but when he caught up with him, Thor would quicken his step. This had kept up until they reached the palace, by which point they were running. When Thor disappeared into his chamber, Loki slowed his pace and slammed the door shut behind him. Thor was laughing as he was pulling a dark brown dress out of his own dress.

"I knew you had it." Loki growled as he snatched the dress out of Thor's hands. He unfolded the dress

A flash of white caught Loki's eyes. He looked up to see Thor dangling an apron over his head. "You mustn't forget this."

Loki glared at Thor as he snatched the apron. Both young men changed into their dresses in silence. Loki was surprised that he was able to slide into the dress so easily. He wrapped the apron loosely around him and examined himself in the mirror. It was embarrassing to see how the dress made his still boyish features seem feminine. Both young men still had amounts of boyish features lingering as they weren't fully grown yet. The mirror just reflected how much of those features remained with Loki. All Loki really needed was something to hide how short his hair was and since it was usually slicked back, he could simply use some kind of cover to give the illusion that it was pulled back instead. Loki saw a pile of white cloth not that far from him on the floor and picked off one of the pieces from the ground. He had tied it around his hair as he had seen some of the servants do many times before. When Loki pulled back from the mirror, he was even more horrified than before.

"You are quite a lovely young woman." Thor snickered.

Loki shot his brother a poisoned filled glare. He may not have had the same strength as Thor, but he still took pride in the gender he was given. "_You _are the one that should be."

"I am growing into a man, not a woman."

"But that is not the point of what we are doing." Loki said as he examined his brother. He looked back at the pile of cloth that lay beside him. He knelt down and piled to cloths in his arms. He looked back at his brother and began to pile more into his arms. Thor noticed this strange action. "Brother," He said slowly, "What exactly are you doing?"

Loki thrust the cloth in front of Thor. "This will enhance your disguise."

Thor took the cloth and looked at his brother strangely. "How?"

"Use your imagination, Brother."

"I am and I am afraid it doesn't function in the manner yours does. I do not understand."

Loki sighed. "Thrym is, if nothing else, a man. He will notice if he is to see Freya again and she is suddenly missing her…cleavage."

The shock of his brother's words caused Thor to drop the cloth. His face had been the reddest it had been all day. "There is no chance in all of Asgard that I'm going to-"

Several knocks came from the other side of the door. "Thor?" Sif asked from the other side. "I can hear your voice. Can I come in?"

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><p>And that's the end of Chapter 2! I typed it up a little quickly, so I may go and change it a little later when I get back to re-reading it. Anyway, thank you all for the reviews. They're greatly appreciated. ^^ Chapter 3 should be up here shortly.<p>

Krudovana


	3. Chapter 3

_Several knocks came from the other side of the door. "Thor?" Sif asked from the other side. __"I can hear your voice. Can I come in?_

"No!"

A sigh could be heard. "I just want my spear back."

"I will give it back to you later!"

"You said that two weeks ago!"

"I promise!"

"You said _that_ five days ago! Besides, I need it! My training won't continue unless I have it!"

"Can you wait a couple of hours?"

"A couple of hours?" Sif echoed loudly. "No! I need it now and I am not leaving until I have it!"

Loki and Thor stared at the door with utter horror. Loki slowly tapped his brother on the arm and motioned him to lean his head closer. Thor leaned his head closer to Loki and the darker haired boy began to whisper instructions. Thor nodded and walked over to the door. Loki placed his palms toward the ceiling and motioned the blonde to lift himself slightly. Thor straightened up and looked at the darker haired boy with question. Loki leaned back a bit and examined the situation for a bit. With one solemn nod from his younger brother, Thor thrust his elbow against the door.

"Ow!" Sif shrieked.

There were several moments of silence before Thor eventually asked, "Of course she would be here when we least needed it."

Loki rolled his eyes, "Of course you are to blame for her need to find us."

"My memory could be better." Thor mumbled admittedly.

"I would have never guessed." Loki smiled sweetly. A shimmering object resting peacefully in one of the cracked open drawers caught Loki's attention. A devilish smile crept onto his face. "You forgot something."

"Forgot what?" Thor asked. Loki placed a razor firmly in his brother's hands. Thor held the razor up and examined it. "What is this for?"

"You need to shave your beard."

"No."

"Yes."

"I was only recently able to grow this beard! If I were to shave it, all my efforts will have been for nothing!" Thor hissed.

"Yes, yes. Of course." Loki nodded understandingly. "Because not only has Freya lost her cleavage within the several days Thrym departed, but she has also managed to grow a beard as well."

"Why did you have me bring that veil if I must shave my beard?" Thor whined.

"Because we must make precautions if anything were to go awry." Loki growled.

"I don't see you making these same precautions." Thor glared.

"I don't have to." Loki smirked.

"I can hear you two talking!" Sif shouted. "Let me in!"

"Leave us!" Thor shouted. "We are busy!"

"How are you two busy?" Sif demanded.

The two young men looked at each other with uncertainty. Neither knew the appropriate response. After several seconds of silence, they heard Sif growl in frustration. "Never mind! You two are more than hopeless!" Both waited for the loud stomping to fade away in the distance and let out a sigh in unison.

"I'm glad she finally decided to leave." Thor said, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't count on her leaving." Loki said.

"What makes you say that?" Thor asked, "You heard her leave."

"Yes," Loki nodded, "but she has a tendency to pursue a task until it is completed and due to your sheer laziness, you have inherently given her a task. She'll more than likely return."

"This is true," Thor agreed, "Which now means that we are pressed for time to leave before she returns. You're already dressed and your additional ideas would take too much time. It would be wise if we skipped those steps altogether."

"Only if you want to be exposed for the fraud you are," Loki shrugged.

Thor's eyes narrowed. "You're enjoying this far too much."

Loki tilted his head in his brother's direction and blinked. "What would make you say that, Brother?"

"You are forcing me to take measures that are far too degrading for any kind of man, much less a prince. The only plausible explanation for such actions is that you're enjoying the torture you're putting me through."

"Are you calling me a sadist?"

"Depends on the amount of honesty you want from the answer."

"Ready yourself quickly, Brother." Loki growled, pointing at the bathroom. "We need to leave before Sif decides to return. She's the last person we want to find out what we're doing."

Thor sighed and slowly drug his feet over to the bathroom.

"Quickly does not translate into 'snail's pace', Brother." Loki said.

Thor stood at the bathroom door. "You are truly a horrible person, Brother." The blond said as he closed the door behind him.

Loki turned over every inch of Thor's room until he found Sif's spear. He quickly walked over to the door and dropped the spear on the other side. He then waited by pacing around the room. Eventually, his legs had gotten tired and he sat next to the bathroom. The process proved to be quite interesting considering he had never attempted to sit down in a dress before. Loki wasn't sure what to do with all of the cloth. He tried pulling all of it to one side and another, but not much was proving to be efficient. Once he had figured out the most comfortable solution, Loki simply gazed out of the window until that had bored him as well. He turned his head to the bathroom door and said rather loudly, "Are you still alive, Brother? Or must I come in there and do everything for you?"

After several moments of silence, Loki stood, taking extra care to not trip over his dress in the process. Loki gave three taps to the door. "Thor?"

"Strange that I've never seen someone such as yourself around the palace more often."

Loki's face drained of all color. He didn't need to turn to see who it was, in fact, not turning around was the wiser idea. The voice belonged to Fandral and there was no mistaking that. He heard the blond step into the room through the window. "Are you shy? Well, you needn't worry. I don't bite. You can completely trust me."

That he seriously doubted and Loki had to bite down on his lower lip rather hard to suppress the urge on expressing this thought. Fandral closed the distance between them and wrapped his arm around Loki's stomach.

Loki stiffened when Fandral started to talk again, his voice buried in Loki's neck. "Why don't you come with me for the afternoon? You seem like the kind of person who should take some time to relax and if anyone cares to ask, I will explain everything."

Loki debated his next course of action. He half-wanted to turn around and scold Fandral, but he thought better of that idea. It would have been better just to knock him unconscious and throw him out of the window, hoping the concussion would force him to lose his memory. Better yet, he kill Fandral and dispose of the body in some portion of the forest, far away from the palace. The last idea was most likely the simplest. Loki didn't have much of a chance to finish his mental debate as he saw the door swing open and Thor quickly turn to his direction with an arm strapped over his chest in a failed attempt to cover the cloth dangling from his chest. "Loki, I need-" Thor stopped midsentence as his eyes grew the size of saucers and his mouth dropped to the ground. Fandral spun Loki around and gazed horrifyingly at both boys, his eyes equally as wide as Thor's.

"What is the meaning of this?" Fandral asked.

"That is none of your business." Loki growled, his face gradually turning a light shade of pink. "Now, if have any decency or common sense, it would be in your best interest to _move your hands_."

Fandral's face deepened in color and his hands quickly flew to his side. "How was I to know that it was you and not some lovely young maiden?"

Loki shot a horrible glare at Fandral.

"…being dressed the way you are, of course." Fadral added quickly.

Loki made a mental note to conceive a horrible fate for the unsuspecting blonde.

Fandral visibly shuttered, "To think that I was about to take you to lunch!"

"No."

"Of course I'm not taking you now!" Fandral snapped. "Especially now that I know you're a _man_."

Loki crossed his arms. "I always have been a man."

"Yes," Fandral said as he waived his hand, "but I never expected this out of either of you. You surprised me the most, Thor…what happened to your beard?"

Thor looked over at Loki, his eyes narrowed. "You will be the first I kill once I have my hammer back."

"Is this some dark secret I've stumbled upon?" Fandral eventually asked.

"Yes," Thor said, cracking his knuckles. "And I will share with you what will happen if you are to utter a word of this to _anyone_."

"Now, Brother," Loki said, placing a pale hand on the blonde's shoulder, "There is no need to make this situation violent."

"Then how will he keep his mouth shut?"

"I have an idea." Loki grinned.

Fandral waved his hands, "Neither of you have to think of a punishment for me. I will never mention this discovery."

Loki and Thor glanced at each other, silently confirming their fears. "Then I consider it a good thing that we know you better than that." Loki finally said. "I believe that it would be wise to pull through with my idea first and if you are truly stupid enough to betray us afterwards, then Thor will be allowed to act upon his idea."

Fandral shifted uncomfortably. "May I at least know what it is that you have in store for me?"

A cruel smile split Loki's lips.

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><p>XD Yup. Still having fun with this. Anyway, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I'll try to get it up here soon.<p>

Krudovana


	4. Chapter 4

Fandral's eyes widened and he darted for the door. Thor tackled slender boy to the ground and made sure that most of his weight was applied to his arms, pinning Fandral to the ground. "Where is it that you think you're going?"

Loki smirked, "I most certainly hope that you weren't planning on leaving. No, that wouldn't mean well for you."

"Surely you have another…punishment. I don't believe you have to go that far." Fandral pleaded.

"You want to tread down Thor's method of reinforcement?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not! However, that doesn't mean that there couldn't be another solution. There must be something else."

"Not unless you wish to be horribly disfigured."

Fandral let out a long sigh. "I suppose I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"No," Loki smiled, "It's entirely up to you. You either do as we say or be in such a state that not a soul in Asgard will able to recognize you. Personally, if I were in your situation, I'd choose the former. However, I am not you and can't control your decisions, so it's your choice. Am I wrong, Brother?"

Thor shook his head.

"Fine," Fandral mumbled, his face fading into a deep red.

.

Loki tapped on the bathroom door. "Fandral, you're going to come out sooner or later and, frankly, I would much rather it be sooner."

"I am not coming out!" Fandral shouted from the other side. "There is not enough mead or women in all of the nine realms to make that happen!"

Loki let out a frustrated growl. The longer it took them to leave the room would mean the longer it took to get out of those silly garments. Loki never thought he would have had to explain that. That equation should have been obvious enough.

"That could only mean one thing." Thor said.

"And what would that be?" Loki asked.

Thor kicked the door off its hinges. "That he is in his dress," He growled.

Loki heard Fandral stumble across the bathroom as his brother entered. It had hardly been five minutes when Thor walked out of the bathroom with a red faced Fandral in hand. To Thor's accuracy and Loki's shock, Fandral was in his chosen dress. It was one that didn't stray from Loki's own dress. "Well, it seems that neither mead nor women were necessary." Loki smirked.

"Even so, the only women needed would be Sif." Thor retorted.

Fandral's eyes widened. "I never said that I wanted a death wish."

"But you did," Loki pouted, patting Fandral's head. His lips then broke into a smile, "The very moment you entered this room without invitation."

Thor's eyebrows then knotted together. "I am to take it that we are ready to leave?"

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?" Loki replied, "Is there a problem?"

"That is all fine. However, I am only at a loss on the thought of leaving without being noticed." Thor said.

One of Loki's eyebrows arched upwards, "Is that your only concern?"

Thor thought for a moment as he scavenged the depths of his mind. "Yes."

"Did you honestly think that this plan would even be plausible if I didn't have a discrete route in mind?" Loki asked.

"What route is there?" Thor asked.

Loki balled up Thor's veil and threw it at the blond. "Put on your veil and follow me."

Thor was quick to hide his face as Loki peeked out the door, glancing both ways. When he decided that the coast was clear, Loki hopped out into the halls, waving for Thor and Fandral to follow. The two came out quickly and followed the younger boy closely. "Why is it that Thor is the only one able to hide his face?" Fandral demanded quietly.

Loki kept his brisk pace as he glared at the blond. "Because brides are allowed to hide their faces and I didn't have the time to think of better disguises, you half-wit."

"Don't insult me!" Fandral hissed, "I still have no idea why I'm even being forced to partake in this ridiculous escapade!"

"That's for Thor to share, not me." Loki said quickly, "Now shut up. If no one is able to recognize us by a simple glance, then they will definitely be able to recognize our voices. Especially _yours_."

Fandral then stopped, his head twitching around him. The two princes halted dead in their tracks, watching Fandral's movement's closely. "What's wrong?" Thor asked.

"Don't you hear footsteps?" Fandral asked.

Loki's eyes widened. He then glanced over at Thor. Loki grabbed his brother by the arm and pulled him into the closest closet, quickly snapping the door shut behind him. Fandral's head quickly twisted to see what had happened. His jaw dropped when he noticed the princes' disappearance.

Fandral ran up to the closet and pulled on the door. His teeth clenched together tightly when it wouldn't budge. "Loki! Thor!"

His head turned to peer down the hall as he continued to pull on the door. Fandral had temporarily forgot how to breathe when he saw Sif meander down the corridor. "Excuse me," She said sweetly.

Fandral froze. If there had been any movement on his part, it was because he was quaking in pure terror.

None of this was missed by Sif either. She leaned down to focus more on Fandral's pale face, her thin eyebrows pinched together. "Are you feeling well?"

Fandral had no possible way to justify moving, his breathing grew heavier.

"Do you need to go to the infirmary?" She asked.

With all of his might, Fandral shook his head 'no'.

Sif straightened and scowled. Her arms folded over her chest, "Have Thor and Loki been telling stories about me again?"

Fandral's jaw tightened as he managed to bob his head up and down.

Sif sighed, "Listen, I would never kill you or whatever it is that those two have told you…however, there is a strong possibility that I will kill those two if I ever get the chance. Those two have been acting so strangely recently." She looked back at Fandral, "Speaking of which, have you seen either of them?"

Fandral shook his head from side to side. As much as would have hated to admit it, Loki was right. Speaking would give Sif no question as to who he was.

Sif's shoulders slumped slightly. "Well, if you do manage to see them, please tell me."

Fandral nodded quickly. Sif placed a hand on Fandral's shoulders, "Do consider getting some rest. You look horribly ill."

Fandral nodded again and watched Sif wander off from his peripheral. Once she was completely out of sight, the blond let out a long sigh. Then he ran his fist into the door. "She's gone." He spat.

The door creaked open and the two princes poked their heads out, examining the hall in both directions before exiting the closet completely. "Well done." Thor said, giving Fandral a quick pat on the shoulder.

Fandral glared harshly at Thor. "It would be very unwise to touch me given the multitude of ideas I am trying to refrain from at the moment."

"I agree with Thor." Loki said with a wide, wicked grin. "Neither of us would have been able to fool Sif so easily."

Fandral took in a deep breath, "Just lead us out of here."

.

Sif sat at her desk and sighed. Her maid gave a worried look and asked, "Is there something wrong, Ma'am?"

Sif leaned back into her chair, "Everything. This whole day has just been odd. Between Thor, Loki, and the new maid…"

The maid tilted her head slightly. "Pardon my ignorance, Ma'am, but, there's a new maid?"

"Yes," Sif sighed, "And I don't think I've laid my eyes on anyone more hideous."

"Is that right?"

Sif shuddered, "Yes, she almost looked like a man."

"She couldn't have looked that bad."

"Had I known better, I could have sworn to you that she had _facial hair_."

"Dear lord," The maid gasped, placing a hand over her mouth.

"But that wasn't the strange part…" Sif said, "For whatever reason, she kept reminding me of Fandral."

The maid thought for a moment, her brows knitting together. "Again, pardon me, but isn't Fandral known for being handsome?"

"Yes, but he is a man, not a woman." Sif said, "It was absolutely uncanny to think of the resemblance between the two."

"Do you think the two were related?"

Sif shook her head, "I doubt it. He's told me multiple times that beauty runs in the family."

"And you believed him?"

"Not completely, but I never thought that is family members were that ugly."

The maid's shoulders stretched upwards, "Do you think that Fandral had to go on a mission in disguise?"

"Dressed as a woman?" Sif asked, "Fandral would not make a very becoming woman nor would he go near a dress if he had to be the one _in_ it. He would much rather walk around the palace completely naked before that happened. I simply think that this maid was that ugly."

The maid shrugged her shoulders once again and resumed her cleaning.

* * *

><p>O_O I'm ALIVE! It feels like forever since I've last updated this and I'm really sorry about the long wait, but life got in the way. And there really isn't much I can do with that. However, I've greatly appreciated every review and alert I've received while I wasn't writing. :)<p>

I know that this chapter is a little short, but I wanted something posted by this point. I can honestly say that this story has taken twists and turns that not even I was expecting and, believe me, is going to continue to do so. XD We'll see how this turns out.

I'll try to have the next chapter posted much sooner.

Krudovana


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